Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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