lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
