I heard we made out
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
