Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
