Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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