clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize