8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
