i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
