C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
