Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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