we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize