He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
