tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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