He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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