alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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