And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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