do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
