there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
