who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize