Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
