I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
