Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
