peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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