how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
