when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
