dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
