im six kinds of drunk right now
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
