you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
