Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
