her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
either way he was missing a nipple.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
