It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're a waste of cheezeits
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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