My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The adults are the big ones right?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
