I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
