sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
