maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize