You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
