well most of my day revolves around power hour
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
