yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
