I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
