Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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