the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she peed on how many people?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
