Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
