return my video game
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
