did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
