your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
