Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
