my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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