My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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