I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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