I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
