So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
