Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
