a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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