that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
