I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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