so explain again why im purple
no
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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