In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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