By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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